Halloween Advice for Women & Girls

This is the story of one Halloween long ago ~ a lesson well learned and worthy of passing on to every woman & girl. My friend Gina & I were debating whether or not to attend the annual Hallmark artists' Halloween party ~ we hadn't come up with a good costume idea, but really wanted to go to the party to see everyone else's costumes. As a last resort, we decided we would go to the party dressed as single girls sharing a girl's night together ~ eating popcorn, trading beauty secrets and reading about how to attract men in the current Cosmo.

What a great idea we thought ~ easy too! We rustled up our housecoats, popped up a bowl of popcorn, gathered up some junky magazines and even stopped at the local drugstore for the finishing touch ~ cold cream ~ which we smeared all over our faces. Ready in five minutes, we headed to the party where we met our other girlfriend, who for some reason was dressed as a pig. The party was in full swing when we arrived ~ great costumes and lots of people. We weren't there too long before we noticed that few people were talking to us. It was dark and a little hard to see so we headed over the brighter area near the bar for a drink ~ it had gotten rather hot in the venue. When Gina got her drink and turned around, I noticed that the cold cream on Gina's face didn't look so great anymore ~ instead of being an opaque white mask, it had become a transparent greasy and globby mess ~ I cannot tell you what it looked like, afterall, this is a G rated blog! Of course, I looked the same ~ it was no wonder no one was talking to us! Our other friend in the pig costume was faring no better ~ she discovered her boyfriend had run off with someone else ~ they had a big fight and broke up. Miserable night ~ we felt like the ugly stepsisters!

Maybe if we had worn sexier bathrobes?

Moral of the story: If you are a female and want to have fun on Halloween, do not dress as a pig or put cold cream on your face ~ I recommend either a pretty costume or a sleazy one ~ either way, guaranteed good time! Try your luck with one of these:

{click on images to see sources}